AmeriCan’t Dream : Ted Turner’s Corpse
Thank you for considering Turner as your next career move! We’re writing to let you know that this position has been filled but please don’t be discouraged. (You did not get the job and will continue to be poor and your wife may leave you and take your house. BUT DONT BE DISCOURAGED.) If you have applied for multiple positions, you may still be under consideration for additional roles. Turner is a great place to work. (You would not know this, because you are not good enough to work for us.) We’re always looking for great employees, so keep trying. (So, you are saying I’m not a great employee. Thanks.)
Here is some advice for staying on the radar:
Continue to monitor turnerjobs.com for the latest openings.(Why bother?)
Set up a job alert for the kind of job you are looking for. Be focused. Don’t apply for every job. (Why not apply to every job. It’s a numbers game. The best advice is to apply for every-job. I’m not sure if you are aware of this or not, but all jobs are created by Humans, for Humans. Nearly anybody can do any job created.)
Check out our Diversity and Rewards pages for news about what is happening in those areas and see why Turner employees enjoy the culture and community of our company. (Wow. Not only do you tell me that I am not good enough even to get an interview, you are throwing woke non-sense at me. Sorry, we can’t change our ethnicity to fit into a diversity box. We don’t support discrimination.)
For the latest news from our recruiting team, follow us on social media! We have several accounts that target different audiences and we bet there is one that is right for you. (Are you kidding me? Not only do you crush my dreams of having food and water in my life, but are promoting your shitty social media accounts. When my wife leaves me, I will follow you on social media to tell you how you ruined my life, daily.)
Follow us!
Best of luck in your continued job search. We hope to be hearing from you soon. (No you don’t.)
Signed,
The Recruiters (automated bots)
